
RETARDED
SYLLABICATION: re·tard·ed
ADJECTIVE: 1. Often Offensive Affected with mental retardation
2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed.
Source : American Heritage® Dictionary
I overheard a conversation this weekend and it featured a very bad word to me.
Retarded. I can’t stand that word. I am dismayed that is has shown up in our slang once again. I have been hearing it a lot lately. It makes me cringe. The definition above from American Heritage labels it right off as Often Offensive and to me it is highly offensive.
I don’t pretend to think that everyone will suddenly stop calling things “retarded” after reading this. And yes, I will continue to cringe when I hear it. But maybe when searching for and adjective to describe a thing, person, or situation, if one person bypasses this one I will be happy.
It bothers me to hear the word retarded used to describe things. The things that are being described are not retarded. They are things. To me there is nothing that is retarded. There are people who suffer from mental retardation. And these people try to live life with disadvantages that those of us who do not suffer from mentally retardation can’t fully appreciate. Disadvantages that are furthered because they are thought of as second class citizens by many. Some of them succeed in life. And some do not. But they all try. What else can they do?
I have been a coach for my local chapter of the Special Olympics for the past 7 years. The Special Olympics provides year round athletic training and competition for people with Mental Retardation. I have spent a lot of time with people with mental retardation in those 7 years. I have gotten to know them. I have come to see what is means to be “retarded”. I have seen these people struggle to get concepts that we take for granted. I have seen people who have been institutionalized their whole lives and don’t even know how to shower themselves. I have taught people to shave for the first time in their lives. Neglect runs rampant amongst these people. Not that they don’t want to take care of themselves but many times it is assumed they can’t. “They are retarded. They can’t do it,” is a common thought. But, in most cases, they can!!!! They want to. They just need someone to help them.
And they are aware. Even when it seems they are not because of their disability. They know what’s going on around them. They hear what you say. They know what you mean. I’ve seen idiots cut on these people right in front of them thinking they didn’t understand because they can’t or don’t choose to speak and then seeing the hurt in the eyes of the mentally retarded person because they understood.
And it is not just the mental retardation these people have to deal with. The conditions that cause their mental retardation also come with a variety of health problems as well. I’ve seen Alzheimer’s disease come and claim these people far before their time. I have watched while uncontrollable seizures wrack these people’s bodies. I known a person whose heart valve was so bad that it literally disintegrated when the surgeon removed it to replace it.
There is one word that kept appearing in the couple of paragraphs above. People. Those with mental retardation are people. They go through the same range of human emotions that people without mental retardation do. They experience both the good emotions and the bad. A common myth about these people is that they are “so open and honest”. That is ridiculous. Yes, they do tend to be brutally honest, at times. But at others, these people lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate like champions. Give some of them a chance and they will use their “situation” to get what they want.
What makes them appear open is they tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. Typically, you know where you stand with them emotionally. And the emotions tend to be strong and intense. I’ve seen joy expressed that made my heart soar. I’ve seen fury unleashed that made step back in fear. I’ve seen them be as devious as a rogue. I’ve seen disappointment and sadness that makes my heart break. I’ve seen funny things happen that leave my sides hurting from laughing so hard. I’ve seen lust that makes me want to get a hose. And I have seen unbounded love given freely and completely that makes me feel blessed.
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