These are actual (according to someone) headlines collected during 2003. Enjoy.
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn`t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
(Thanks to Adam for sending these to me)
RSS
Dare I get my hopes up that we might see more contributions from you Heather? I truly hope so. And some from Number Six would be nice too. Both of you have been missed.
As far as these headlines go I love the careless use of the English language. I find things like this so incredibly funny. Thanks for sharing them with us.
I really enjoy these sorts of things, too.
My thanks as well for sharing them. These aren’t nearly as good, but here are some similar headlines I found in a National Lampoon: True Facts book:
Body search reveals $4,000 in crack
Carbon man sets himself on fire
Mother of disabled student charges aide with battery
Multiple-personality rapist sentenced to two life terms
Relief groups help hurt family
Officials warn clams, oysters can carry virus
Disciples of Christ name interim leader
Lebanon will try bombing suspects
Coke head to speak here
Shortage of brains slows medical research
Sadness is No.1 reason men and women cry
Iran claims success in its attacks on Iran
Haha, those are great, Number Six! Thank you.
No promises about more regular posting, Bill.